One of the most searched topics around eloping is the question, “Should I Elope?” Couples have long been weighing the decision of eloping, and the process they choose to elope is not always easy. As an elopement photographer who has helped hundreds of couples document their celebrations, I have been working on a long-running study of couples who choose to elope in order to create this resource for others! Don’t take it from me – here are the reasons real couples like you decided on an elopement and how they felt after.
In a tl;dr sort of synopsis, these were the top 8 reasons couples choose to elope:
Desire for intimacy: Many couples emphasized wanting the day to be just about them, without the distractions of a large event.
Stress reduction: “Relieved” was a frequently mentioned feeling after deciding to elope, with couples citing reduced planning stress
Cost considerations: Financial aspects were commonly mentioned, with couples preferring to invest in their future rather than a large event
Authenticity: Multiple couples expressed that eloping felt more true to who they are as people
Avoiding attention: Discomfort with being the center of attention was a recurring theme
Focus on marriage vs event: Many couples emphasized wanting to focus on their commitment rather than planning a production
Simplicity: The desire for a simple, uncomplicated celebration was mentioned repeatedly
Adventure seeking: Several couples viewed eloping as an opportunity to combine their ceremony with travel or adventure
Sounding familiar? Read some of their reasons in their own words…
In Their Own Words: Couples’ Real Reasons for Eloping
For many years I asked my couples, “Why did you choose to elope?” This is what they said:
“We decided to elope because we wanted our wedding day to be our day to celebrate each other. The idea of planning a large ceremony and reception felt like we were shifting the focus from marriage to event-planning. We wanted the chance to relax and fill the day with opportunities to enjoy our transition into married life.”
“We didn’t want a big production. We just wanted it to be us.”
“We don’t like to be the center of attention.”
“We wanted the day to be one that could be intimately shared, lower stress, and…those big wedding are so expensive.”
“We’re old and it’s not our first marriage. We didn’t want the hoopla, we just wanted it to be us.”
“When we were in the middle of planning our traditional wedding, the excitement quickly turned into dread and was overwhelming! we’ve always loved to explore new places, and the idea of an intimate ceremony in the mountains brought the excitement back!!”
“We always dreamed of it, but after he proposed we pondered on the idea of a big wedding and toured a few venues. Just the idea of spending LOTS of money on other people to enjoy a day that is suppose to be about us was enough for us to decide to do what we feel in our hearts is right for us and elope and come back and have a reception. We’re going to elope and honeymoon road trip all in one over a 2 week span.”
“When we were first planning a wedding we were going to go to Las Vegas with our family and be married by Elvis. But the idea of being in front of all those people made me nervous. So we decided to elope because it could just be us and we could go anywhere! And we absolutely fell in love with Ouray on a trip we took a while ago.”
“We decided to elope mainly because neither of us wanted a large wedding, we didn’t need all the motions of a standard wedding day to show our love.”
“We wanted something more intimate and simple and in the moment, no big show or production for others, just us.”
“We aren’t big party people and just want to enjoy the day together.”
“We’ve both been to plenty of big weddings and our style is much more private and informal. Plus, I love the idea of sending out a paper announcement after the fact.”
“Weddings are expensive and family drama on both sides, I don’t want to have to worry about relatives who haven’t seen another in years or are not in good terms having to reconnect on our wedding day. I personally wanted to have the day to ourselves and not have to worry about anyone else for once and be present in the moment, since it is a very special day and wanted it to be intimate. I have been to weddings where the Bride and Groom don’t even have fun because they’re too busy dealing with their families or making sure things are taken care of for the guests, I personally feel like bigger weddings are to cater for the guests rather than for yourself.”
“We wanted an adventurous wedding and intimate ceremony with just the people we love the most.”
“The money and stress of having a wedding was never what we wanted. We want it to be about us and our love.”
“We wanted to enjoy our wedding and honeymoon in one.”
“We wanted our day to be about us and not about us catering to people’s needs! We wanted something intimate with those closest to us and the people who have supported us through our relationship!”
“Less stress and planning, less money.”
“I don’t like being the center of attention and thought it would be more fun/less distracting to just be the two of us.”
“Neither of us really like to be the center of attention so the idea of having a ceremony just for the two of us made both of us way more comfortable.”
“Neither of us had our hearts set on a big wedding to begin with, and even toyed with the idea of going to the courthouse in the very beginning. As expected, the wedding planning process began to be very overwhelming from all angles. It was to the point where I wasn’t feeling excited and wanted time to fly so that it could be over and we could just start enjoying a marriage. When those feelings came up in only the early stages of planning, it was clear that something had to change.”
“The practically. Neither of us want to be a burden to family that may want to come but would have to travel across country to attend.”
“Since we are pretty casual and simple people, we struggled with figuring out specific details of a wedding, knowing that it was ultimately to try and please family versus what was going to make us the happiest. As soon as we had our family’s support, we officially made the decision to elope!”
“We both have been married before and just wanted something intimate and just the two of us.”
“We have too many friends and we were either going to make people mad or go broke.”
“It’s like a fairytale for us. Being surrounded by beautiful mountains with our closest family is a dream. We are so excited to spend time together with one another while we are there.”
“Keeping it simple. This is for us. For each other. For our future. It’s deeply meaningful.”
How did you feel when you chose to elope?
“Relieved! It feels much more authentic to who we are. We are very sentimental but choose to enjoy those moments together, and not necessarily around other people. The idea of reciting our vows and having such an intimate moment with an audience just wasn’t for us.”
“I felt super exited!”
“I felt like it was the right thing to do. ”
“We both felt great! We both wanted to enjoy the day for ourselves, and it was the least stressful thing we had to plan out. I never really grew up dreaming about my wedding day so having a traditional wedding was never something I would be sad if I never took part of. After watching vlogs and tiktoks, and seeing instagram posts about elopements I thought it would be perfect. We are super excited to enjoy our special day to ourselves.”
“At first a little nervous about how family and friends would be upset or sad they wouldn’t be able to be part of the day. But everyone has continued to be so supportive of us and our relationship, they are very happy for us to be taking this next step together and we couldn’t be more thankful for each and every one of them.”
“RELIEVED! Since making the decision official, the process itself seemed so much less daunting. We had already looked into who we wanted as our photographer for this day as well as possible areas to elope in. Since then we have been working on putting together our outfits + what exactly we envision on our day.”
“Because the only opinions we are working with are our own, the decision making process is a lot simpler, and there ultimately are far less decisions that need to be made.”
“We get to spend that time celebrating our love and the life we are going to share rather than hosting an event catered to friends and family, and it was honestly the best decision we could have made for ourselves!”
“It feels nice to know we can shave away the parts about a traditional wedding that don’t sit well with us and do what feels right.”
“We’re a bit unconventional. Neither of us was excited about throwing a big expensive party, so we opted to keep it simple and to splurge on the things we really want.”
“We both were happy with our decision, it’s a day we just are able to be in each other’s company and fully soak in the day with out having the stress of a big wedding.”
“Relieved and excited.”
“We don’t want to have a huge wedding, that just isn’t us. And we would rather spend our money on our new home!”
“Relieved.”
“Relieved!”
Should I Choose to Elope? Your Own Decision
You’ve heard from dozens of real life couples who chose to elope – now, it’s your turn to do the decision-making! Where do you start? Begin by closing your eyes. You’re sitting on your couch or in your favorite arm chair. In your hands is your wedding album, showing you the full story of your big day. When you open its pages and flip through the images… what do you see? Do you see spreads full of family and friends, parents’ coworkers, people you need to meet for the first time on your wedding day? Or do you see you and your partner, exploring your favorite place or someplace new that’s been on your list – maybe a few close family members surrounding you? Are you in a wedding venue or out in nature surrounded by the beauty of the planet? Establishing your real vision and desires for the day is number one.
Second, ask yourself how you feel about exchanging vows in front of hundreds of people. Is that an intimidation that you can or want to overcome?
Can you afford a big wedding, or do you want to prioritize spending less to get an even more epic wedding day somewhere awesome?
Do you find peace in celebrating with just the two of your or a few close friends/family?
Do you like making a lot of decisions about a ton of nitty gritty little details or do you prefer to have a handful of decisions that are actually fun to consider?
If the smaller, intimate, cheaper and more natural options appeal to you, you should probably choose to elope!
Finally, if you’re here you have to admit to yourself that the idea of eloping is calling to you. Are you ready to answer it? If you’re ready, shoot me a message and let’s go!
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